MAN
Can a Man live like this?
Everyday of his life and strife
Breathe a -dew, which dries with sunrise
A death which resurrect on a new day
A leaf that shine, its youth pale
They say it is a Sea. Now I see
We sail with hope
When the sea is calm or rough
Yes we Love, moan, groan, we laugh
Yes we cry, we try, and last we die
Trod on Earth protected by heaven
Don’t worry my Cinderella
As they talk to god Bacchus
Tasted fruit is sweet, not eaten sweeter
Later she will create a crater of betrayal
But are he is loyal, she is royal.
Happiness (april 2006)
Happiness is not a land far away
It is like a hand you see everyday
Paradise of eternity
A price per dice to enter the city
Kings and slave strive, why? Ask the almighty
Eyes dusty to see the soul
That’s why we receive, bowls of ignorance
Wars
It is a thin hem on a garment
Yet strong.
Like a vein transporting blood
But never wrong
Amidst of flood, the life jacket
Amidst of death, the life jacket
To protect, we just need to project,
Our inner eyes, away from illusion, yes passion
Happy land is perfect nation
.
It is 2 A.m
Nothing looks the same
All I can do is just whisper her name
Can’t shout my voice is lame
Nothing but darkness, stuck ness in her web
Though the stars try to shine from far
And moon lends a hand
An attempt to light up my soul
Still I have to wait till dawn, on the lawn, alone
For the Sun coz she is my sunshine
I stepped on a landmine
I can’t move my foot, lest it blows
The damage all mine
Like a greedy businessman
I dug the mine
Found the Diamonds,
Like a poor man I beg
Who will tell her she is the almond
I need to break,
For miles
My heart has trekked
With my lips
Many i have pecked
But nothing can compare
To my alter ego
She is an eagle, when she flies
Can someone tell her she is guilty?
But am ready to grant her amnesty.
Twenty New Poems
Love & Hate — Conformity & Rebellion — Innocence & Experience
By Mwangi Mahugu
I. LOVE & HATE
1. SHE IS THE FIRE
She is the fire
I keep running to
Already burnt, still I return
Fool or faithful, who can tell
Love is a well
You drink, you drown
You swear you’ll leave this town
But the well is home
The burning is home
Even the scar is home
I hate what she does
I love who she is
Between those two truths
I live
2. BEAUTIFUL ENEMY
You wore your smile like a weapon
Shot me at close range
No bullet, no blood
Just this wound that won’t arrange
Its edges properly
Doctor says heal
Heart says feel
I say both of you are liars
Hate is love that’s been betrayed
Love is hate that hasn’t been paid
The debt between us
Compound interest
Neither of us settled it
3. SAME RIVER
I loved you like a river loves the sea
Rushing, no asking, just to be
Together in the blue immensity
Then the sea swallowed me whole
And the river ceased to be a river
Just salt
Just depth
Just silence where the current was
Now I hate with the same force
Same current, different course
Same river, wrong shore
4. SWEET POISON
Tasted fruit is sweet, not eaten sweeter
That was your gospel
You served it on a golden plate
I ate, and ate, and ate
Until I was full of you
Until you were inside every cell
They say poison and medicine
Come in the same bottle
Only the dose decides
You were the dose
I miscounted
5. MIDNIGHT ARITHMETIC
At 3 a.m. I count the reasons
Love: seven
Hate: seven
The mathematics of us
Balanced and brutal
Add your laugh: plus one
Add your silence: minus two
Subtract the night you chose him
The sum keeps changing
The answer stays the same
Equal
Equally loved
Equally ruined
6. MARKET PRICE
They say love is free
Tell that to the man
Who paid with his sleep
His pride, his peace
His calendar of hope
Tell that to the woman
Who gave her years like coins
Into a machine that gave nothing back
Hate is the receipt
Love never gave us
Proof we paid
7. CITY LOVE
This city taught me to love fast
And forget faster
Monday: her name in my mouth like music
Friday: her name in my mouth like ash
We love between traffic jams and power cuts
Between M-Pesa alerts and rent day
Between WhatsApp ticks and silence
This city has no time for soft love
Only the burning kind
Only the kind that leaves a scar
And a story
— • —
II. CONFORMITY & REBELLION
8. MASK
They gave me a uniform at birth
Name, tribe, religion, address
Said: this is who you are
Wear it well
I wore it
Wore it until the seams cut
Until my breathing changed
Until I could not remember
The face beneath the face
Now they call me rebel
For taking off what they put on
For asking: who dressed me?
And why?
9. THE QUEUE
Stand in line
They said
Your turn will come
I stood
Twenty years of standing
The line moved nowhere
Only those who stepped out
Got anywhere
They call it jumping the queue
I call it finding the door
The queue was never for us
It was to keep us occupied
While they used the back entrance
10. DIGITAL MASK
Wear the mask they said
Eight hours
Plug yourself in
See the world through our lens
But whose world?
Whose lens?
Whose frequency
Is filling my skull?
I unplugged
They called it darkness
I called it mine
The silence was the loudest thing
I’d heard in years
11. SON OF THE SOIL
My grandfather cleared the forest
Axe and fire, foot by foot
Built something from nothing
They called it progress
My father built the corporation
Glass and code, deal by deal
Built something from everything
They called it progress
I am standing here
At the edge of what they built
Asking what was here before
They call it rebellion
I call it remembering
12. GOAT PATH
They built the highway
Wide and smooth and fast
Told us: this is the only road
But the old goat path still runs
Underneath the tarmac
Underneath the city
The goats remember
Even if we forgot
Rebellion is not burning the highway
It is remembering the path
It is walking it in the dark
Until the feet remember
13. PRODIGAL SON SPEAKS
Father you sent me to the best school
I came back asking the wrong questions
This is what education does
When it works
You wanted a son who would carry the empire
I carry the doubt that built it
You wanted hands to sign papers
Mine keep opening to give away
The prodigal returned
But not to inherit
To ask: what did we lose
To gain all this?
— • —
III. INNOCENCE & EXPERIENCE
14. FOURTEEN
At fourteen I saw the warriors
Glossy and swift at the forest’s edge
My spirit ran before my feet
My father pulled me back
At fourteen I thought glory
Was a thing you could chase
A column of spears in the morning light
A direction you could run toward
Now I know
Glory is what finds you
When you stop running
When you stand still long enough
To see what is already yours
15. THE FIRST LIE
They told me the world was fair
I believed them
That was the first wound
They told me work hard, succeed
I worked
That was the second wound
Now I tell my children nothing
That I cannot prove
And they call me a pessimist
I call it experience
The tax innocence pays
At the border of the real world
16. BABU’S PIGEONS
When you are old enough
You feed the pigeons
Not because they need you
But because you need them
The young man needs the war
The board meeting, the battle, the win
The old man needs the birds
The tortoise, the pool, the reed
Innocence believes it needs the world
Experience knows
The world needs about ten minutes a day
And the rest is yours
17. SCHOOL OF HARD
Nobody graduates from this school
You only accumulate the marks
Invisible on the body
Visible in the eyes
The child does not know it exists
The young man thinks he can pass
The old man knows
The curriculum never ends
But the lessons get cleaner
The older you are
Pain teaches faster than joy
But joy teaches deeper
18. FIRST RAINS
First rain falls on everyone equally
The child runs out to catch it
The adult runs in to avoid it
Somewhere between those two
We lost something
The exact morning we stopped
Running into the rain
Innocence is not ignorance
It is courage
The courage to get wet
On purpose
19. WHAT THE MOUNTAIN KNOWS
Kirinyaga watched the warriors
Watched the strangers
Watched the corporations rise
Watched the satellites orbit
The mountain said nothing
The mountain is neither innocent nor experienced
It is simply old
Old enough to know
That every storm passes
Every empire fades
Every generation believes
It is the first to discover fire
It is never the first
20. JOIN THEM OR RUN
Babu said: join them or run
I am fifty and I still don’t know
Which one he meant
Join them: carry what they built
Walk inside the walls they raised
Speak the language of the new world
Paddle hard beneath the surface
Appear calm on top
Run: find the old goat path
Under the tarmac, under the city
Where the feet remember
Before the schools forgot
Or—
Stand still at the window
Watch the old man feed the birds
And understand at last
That ‘join them or run’
Was never a command
It was a question
Only you could answer
And only time would grade
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